Let yo belly out!

I was in a writing workshop, and the assignment was a free write and anyone who is familiar with that concept knows that what is written is based on what is running through your mind in that moment.  I heard the instructor take a deep breath; you know the kind that moves your belly out?  In most other circumstances, me noticing how another is breathing wouldn’t have been significant; but I copied him, took a deep breath of my own and because I was writing about all those thoughts that were coming into my head I realized that I rarely take deep breaths.

Once I had noticed that particular thought I started thinking (and writing) about why.  I was in 7th grade, it was a horrible time when puberty and the concept of cool was hitting everyone around me and I began to realize that I was fat.   I was getting ready for some event or other and my mother said I needed to tuck my stomach in and that maybe she should get me a girdle.  For those who don’t know a girdle is one of those mysterious things women wear under clothes that holds all those pieces that jiggle (like flabby bellies) in place. I think this may be in an effort to lure eligible men with our non jiggle-ness.  I always felt like this was useless because the clothes are going to come off at some point right? So anyways sorry I got distracted, I was immediately aware that something wasn’t quite right with my middle section and I have spent the rest of my life obsessing about it.  Every article of clothing I purchased, how I sat, and where I sat was affected by my belly and how big I thought it would look

I remember getting my father’s duct tape and taping half my torso trying to get my belly to stay in. Fortunately I couldn’t breathe and it hurt so that only lasted like 10 minutes.  However, I have been holding my stomach in ever since.

I feel like I have warped my own vitality. Breathing is like one of the most important functions of living. So from now on I am going to let my belly out and breathe… deeply.

My belly

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~ by alillia on January 14, 2011.

One Response to “Let yo belly out!”

  1. girl you are ssooo sillly!!! but all that you said is true… there are hecka girls out there who think their belly is too big or wiggly and try and hold it in… i am now in this category of womens… lol every says im a nice sice buuuttt… all the way until i was 17 i was less than 100 pounds… then 18 and 19 i was about 120 which was ok with me because i thought i still looked skinny… now im 155 and dont look soo much on the skinny side… well not to me… i woullnt say im fat… but i am thicker than i used to be… which for me is odd… so a little while after i noticed my belly got bigger i started holding it in… but recently ive decided maybe i should just let it be… if you dont like it deal with it 😀 lol and it might be easier to get rid of it than hide it … so im sorta on a misson to shrink my belly… but in the mean time im not on a mission to hide it….

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